Actual problem

Countdown to departure: 3 days
Countdown to culture shock: 188 days

Most of the posts I've thought about making on here (and I imagine most of the posts I actually made) have either been about my emotional state or vaguely worded revisitings of the plans I've been struggling to make. Now, with three days to go, job quit, visa obtained, medical insurance (almost) purchased, I actually (maybe) have something substantial to report: I fear I'm getting sick.

It's a wonder my immune system has held out so long, battered internally by the upheaval of the past several weeks, and externally from working in a pharmacy (for crying out loud). And now, alas, I went to bed with a sore throat and have woken up with a moderately sorer one. So with this and this and a bit of this, I'm doing this and hoping I don't have this.

Trepidation

Countdown to departure: 24 days
Countdown to culture shock: 209 days

Where is my discipline?

I went to Tong's today to practice, and wound up talking to her for six hours. I don't even want to get into everything we talked about - anything I could think of to keep from doing what I knew I needed to do. By the time we got down to studying, I was so burdened with guilt and exhaustion that I only had about 10 minutes of energy left in me before I had to leave.

Right now I'm just so... ugh. So worn down. Cross-cultural communication is a bitch. Already feeling like I don't want to leave the country. I don't even want to leave my bedroom. I'll let you know tomorrow when the feeling passes.

Got a party-full of Chinese people to meet tomorrow night, going to need some hardcore rest and meditation in the meantime.